Pursuit of Happiness.....

So hmmmmmm.....

Should I make meself miserable for someone who acts like a friend to my face and then talks about me behind my back?

Hell no.... I get so sick and tired of people like this... Two-faced, Hypocritical.... Do not preach to me about the good Lord and how much better you are then me when obviously you need to look in the mirror.... We ALL have faults, I do not proceed to tell people how 'perfect' or 'above' them I am for ANY reason because I KNOW I'm NOT either of those... I get tired of someone looking down on me just because they think that since THEY FOLLOW GOD and I refer to him as Loki I'm sort of 'bad person'... We each have our own perceptions.... You call him God I call him Loki, deal with it..... Go take a few lessons in humility and then get back with me, maybe then I'll talk to you....

So I procrastinate... I admit that I do, I admit when I screw up, admit when I'm wrong, admit when I make a mistake and I'll admit that I do not know much about cooking.... There are no reasons there to look down on me, if you can't admit your own faults then you need to STFU and just step back... Keep pushing me and while I might break, I will explode and I will no longer hold myself responsible when it's because I'm being pushed beyond my limits and then some... I'm done being the bigger person and the target for people to take their shite out on...

I get overwhelmed very easily, when that happens, yeah I screw up and usually big time, but hey... at least I'm trying still.......

The worst thing is, I'm not the only one being put down here.... Another one is being put down and she doesn't deserve it either.

Am I Your Doormat?

Am I your doormat just because I have accepted a duty to help you in return for letting me stay?

I watch the kids everyday while you work, my anxieties make it hard but I still try my best... I am watching them everyday, no day off unless they go to their grandmother's for a day or 2 and this is weeks at a time that I have time off... When I'm sick, I'm still watching them, unless they are away....

You know about my anxieties and all, yet I'm constantly responsible for children that are not even mine... I have gotten sick, been sick for over a month now and yet I'm still getting them pushed on me... Even with another adult in the house I'm getting them pushed on me... I get no privacy, no time away, I try to go to my room for a break from people and still can't get away. Nothing I do is ever good enough for you...

So am I your doormat just because my anxieties won't let me work? Yes? well FUCK YOU then... I am a person who has feelings just as much if not more then you. I deserve to be treated as a human being not as your doormat....